ten things that i love recently:

01. the movie Pitch Perfect

02. hot chocolate milk black tea

03. metallic nail polish

04. Radio by Lana Del Rey 

05. deep fried squid tentacles (I normally hate deep fried food)

06. the game Cards Against Humanity

07. pink/peach/salmon coloured tops and dresses

08. hemp hand protector for my perpetually dry hands 

09. this Shakespeare insult generator

10. the novel Code Name Verity

ideas that i like to visit

I am inspired by so many things.

Some appear more frequently than others

and some are sitting on the sidelines for now.

Some things are more easily made into tangible things - aesthetic things.
Some are just ideas that I like to visit again and again.

 [Woven Enamel Necklace in Pastel Turquoise Enamel, available here]

When I first applied for art school, I didn't know that I would have to choose a major. I had this grand idea that I could just be an artist and do whatever art form I chose for four years.

I eventually chose jewellery but I still took classes in textiles, ceramics, woodshop, metalshop, furniture, and bookbinding.

[Scalloped Enamel Earrings in Grape Purple, available at Organic Metal Gallery and Etsy]

So it doesn't surprise me that my jewellery can be inspired by scalloped collars, or woven forms, or the colour of glazes.

I love the fragility of fabric, how it's held together by infinite numbers of tiny threads, as well as the strength and durability of metal. I think it's something I need to explore some more.

working on the shop

I've been off school for almost three weeks now, but my breaks are rarely real breaks. I'm one of those people that enjoy being fairly busy.

It's hard for me to be idle.

[faceted bronze necklace with sterling silver chain, limited edition, available in the shop now]

I'm excited to make some new cast work in silver, add some more textured aspects to my work. So I've been playing around with some wax at home until the studio is open again from the holidays.

And I've been busy taking photos of some of my jewellery, editing them and putting them up in my online shop. It's the most full my shop's ever been, and I'm looking forward to filling it up some more since I have a lot of pieces I should have in there.

Maintaining the shop is quite a bit of work, more than you'd think. I wish I had an assistant...

Beauty in useful things

I feel like a lot of artists of my generation are having the same problem.
We are torn. Indecisive.

Unsure that what we are doing is worthwhile or beneficial.

By being an artist am I being selfish with my life?

Could my efforts be put towards something else?

Does what I do matter to anyone but myself?

Do others understand this need to create? 

What do my dreams and wants matter?

I love to make beautiful things, but there is beauty in useful things too.

I like Dental Technology because I feel like it merges practicality with my artistic nature.

I like the feeling that I can help someone, 

that I am making something useful and necessary.

There is art in it.

There is symmetry, subtlety, curves and textures.

There is the satisfying sound of something clicking right into place.

Trying to find balance is a hard thing to do.
It does not come about by accident, only by design.

the bigger picture

There is always the bigger picture.

That something to work towards -

that something worth fighting for.

It is something I need.

For some reason I am always so close.
So close I can see the outlines of it.
So close that I start to move things around for it -
that I make decisions based on it.

And I start to consider it mine.

Now, I can make plans, but I am not the only planner.

I can want things, but when I don't get them

I have to consider that they would not have been good for me -

that they were never meant to be mine.

for whatever comes

I believe in signs - that some things are not meant to be.

I trust in them.

What point is there to fight what is not meant to be yours,

when your path is meant to be another path?

But I also believe in fighting for what you want,

in giving your all,

in just waiting and seeing.

The trait I admire most is strength -

strength of will,

and strength of character.

Because it was what I wanted for myself,

and what I always strive to have.

Because what I always ask and seek for in the end, is 
to be strong enough for whatever comes.

beautiful and devastating

I've read a lot of novels this summer. Even more so now that I've discovered I can download e-books from the Toronto Public Library too. Now my zest for reading is insatiable, and distracting. 

I came across The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and I found myself surprised to love the slow but enchanting storyline and atmospheric language. A lot of the novels that I enjoy are more straightforward, where every word makes an impact - I tend not to care for flowery, languid descriptions. The descriptions were mostly concerning the circus itself, and the acts of "magic" that took place, but the thoughts and words of the characters themselves were less descriptive and more evocative.

There was turmoil, weariness, a constant struggle - I could almost feel the words, as if I could see myself saying them, feeling their effect as if I was one of the characters. And there were a lot of passages on the idea of control and discipline, things that I value highly. Passages on how things can be both beautiful and devastating. Passages on endurance, on bindings and responsibility, on the ties that hold us together and connect us.

Erin Morgenstern did a wonderful job. Here are some excerpts:

"I have spent a great deal of my life  

struggling 

 to keep myself in control...

to know myself inside and out,

everything kept in perfect order."

"I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held.

Trying to control what cannot be controlled.

I am tired of denying myself what I want 

for fear of breaking things I cannot fix."

"Our instructors do not understand how it is - 

to be bound to someone in such a way...

it is never simple.

The other person becomes how you define your life,

how you define yourself.

They become as necessary as breathing.

Then they expect the victor to continue on without that...

they would be whole, but not complete."

"...if I could put into words everything I want to say to you.

A sea of ink would not be enough."

"I have been surrounded by love letters 

you two have built for each other for years,

encased in tents.

It reminds me of what it was to be with her.

It is wonderful and it is terrible."

"You are the greater loss, but too selfish to admit it.

You believe you could not live with the pain.

Such pain is not lived with.

It is only endured."

"Someone needs to tell their bits of overlapping narrative.

There's magic in that.

It's in the listener, and for each and every ear it will be different 

and it will affect them in ways they can never predict.

From the mundane to the profound.

You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone's soul,

becomes their blood 

and self 

and purpose.

That tale will move them and drive them.

Who knows what they might do with it because of your words...

Your sister may be able to see the future, 

but you yourself can shape it."

outlines of things

Weight has always been a problem for me -
too easy to gain, too difficult to lose.
If I don't pay attention it piles upon me.

It is not always a tangible thing,
secrets are weighty,
 so is disappointment,
so is loss.

You can feel the absence of weight,
that lightness - that spring in your step.

There are outlines of things that used to be,
and there is the weight of choices -
choices made, choices waiting to be made.

a busy summer

Hi all! I've been busy in the studio most of the summer and have fallen off the blogging boat as a result. Though, I've recently joined instagram and have been really good at keeping that updated for some reason. You can follow me on instagram here.

But I am going to make an effort to post more regularly!

Since I started school again last September I found it really difficult to make new jewellery during the year. But since summer started I found myself in the studio as much as possible restocking the shops that carry my work and trying out some new designs I had been sketching and planning.

I'm pleased to announce that I now sell my jewellery at Shoe Kat Shoo in Orangeville alongside the regular - The Devil's Workshop, Organic Metal Gallery, and etsy. I just recently sent off some new enamel pieces in the most summery enamel colours I have - they're so nice and fresh looking. Kathie from Shoe Kat Shoo was kind enough to send me some photos of my work on display in her shop:

I'm also currently teaching a ten week enameling/advanced jewellery class on Thursdays at Organic Metal Gallery.

It's been busy and fun - kind of dreading going back to school now...

learning curves

i was working on some new lichen rings in the studio a little while back. i really like seeing my drawings turn into something 3D and wearable. these are all one of a kind mostly because right after i draw them i decide to make them. and then i don't have a copy of the original drawing.

i've been in the dental lab at school a lot lately. fourteen hour days have become the norm for me. there is so much to do. like with most things of a technical nature, there is a steep learning curve. we are learning from our mistakes, and these mistakes are very time costly.

i was trying to wrap this piece up in tissue paper for a safe trip home, and then it fell. i lost about two hours here. *sigh* at least i'm getting better and faster all the time :)

what i need

people asked me what i wanted as a gift last year and i surprised myself by not really having anything to ask for that i needed.

even when i think that times are hard or stressful, they're not so bad. i have so many things to be thankful for in my life. a year has gone by and i can't say i wasted it.

the things i need are mostly immaterial, they have to do with time - more time with friends, more time with family, more time for my art, more time to read, more time to sleep, and most importantly - more time for myself.

i got to go on an impromptu New Years Eve trip to Niagara Falls this year. i'm glad i made the time to see the fireworks.

presents

hi readers! i hope everyone is having a great holiday season. i've been off school for a little over a week now, but i feel like i've only just recuperated from such a crazy month full of assignments and exams.  

being in a hands on program is always tricky. you never really know when to stop working on projects and to start studying. in my head i always feel as if i can work on a project just a little bit more - make it a little more polished, a little more smooth. you start to learn when it's time to stop.

the worst thing is messing up something right at the end because you were impatient, rushed, or tired.

patience is a skill.

when setting stones into jewellery, you have to be careful. one slip of your tool and the stone can be damaged beyond repair. it can be a stressful, slow process. one that i want to love more someday.

i have so many stones that don't have a home in a jewellery piece. i better remedy that before i even think about buying new stones. the coral and turquoise ones became scarf pins that i gave to my mother in law, and the black obsidian earrings  to my cousin who only wears studs because she's a dancer (ignore the polishing compound on the studs, this was before i steamed them clean).

it's the end of the year, and time goes by so quickly. i hope that we can all find the time to relax and enjoy the simple things  in life.

to do

sometimes my to do list saddens me a little. besides trying to keep myself sane by having a few leisurely moments each day my plate always seems very very full. it's gotten worse now because i'm in school. 

as of now until next week i have to:

study for 3 exams

finish the set up for some upper dentures

make a retainer

polish 3 acrylic plates for retainers

go to work on monday

go to classes from monday to friday

go to the studio on thursday

spot weld 2 space maintainers

finish 28 full page anatomically correct teeth drawings

prepare for a 10 minute presentation

drop off new jewellery for the devil's workshop

drop off commission work

pick up some findings for some pearl bracelets

do laundry

these are just the things i HAVE to do...not even the things i want to do...like go to yoga, or watch Dexter, or visit my grandma. 

*sigh*

a new kind of palette

it's news for some, but i'm back in school again - with a slightly new direction: dental technology. i like it because we use very similar tools, methods, and materials as in jewellery, but this time with a more utilitarian function. compared to all the art forms i've dabbled in over the years, i've found jewellery to be the most exact and finicky.

but dental tech is worse - i didn't think it was possible. in jewellery, pieces that are supposed to be soldered have to be filed so they fit perfectly together with no gaps, little scratches are huge imperfections, and solder blobs drive you crazy and make you instinctively reach for a small hand file.

in dental tech, if something is off a tenth of a millimeter the whole piece may be useless, it may ruin the whole tooth setup or cause someone extreme pain. it's far more challenging than i thought it would be. though i've been told it will get easier in time, which is normally true, so i'm hopeful :p

so now i will also be a maker of dental appliances, and they'll pop up in here from time to time. i can already see how it's inspiring new jewellery work from me, we'll see where it goes from here.

some of you who have had retainers may recognize these acrylic palettes. i had to make orthodontic appliances while studying for my ortho exam. it's been hard transitioning back into study mode, but i'm getting back into it (i.e. i'm drinking coffee again). i like how from this angle, the first picture kind of looks like a trio of swans.

beautiful people

"the most beautiful people we have known
are those who have:

known defeat.
known suffering.
known struggle.
known loss.

and have found their way out of the depths.

these persons have an appreciation

a  s e n s i t i v i t y 

and an understanding of life 
that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. 

beautiful people do not just happen." 



- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

balance

hi friends.

i apologize. once again i've been on a slightly long hiatus from the blogging world. as of now, my schedule is one of the craziest ones i've ever had. i'm trying not to let myself get too overwhelmed!

there are some things that i feel need to be part of my life and when they are missing, i feel all off kilter. i've written about this before - this need for balance, and when i have it, it keeps me going through the long days and weeks and months. it helps me when i'm tired, or frustrated, or just plain overworked.  

so when i'm not updating as much, it's because i'm striving for that balance. 

if you're familiar with my work, you'll know that i don't do too many highly polished pieces. i hate seeing scratches on jewellery, my eye never misses them. and if you're not careful, it's easy to damage the finish on a piece. but i forced myself to create a bunch of sterling silver jewellery that was high polished, and while my fingers have definitely become more callused, i like how they came out. i've been trying out some new polishing compounds with my new polishing buffs and they are doing wonders.

how bad do you want it?

"when you want to succeed as much as you want to breathe 

then you'll be successful... 

most of you say you want to be successful but 

you don't want it bad. 

you just kind of want it. 

you don't want it bad if you want to party. 

you don't want it as much as you want to be cool. 

most of you don't want success as much as you want sleep. 

if you want to be successful, you've got to be willing to give up sleep... 

if you go to sleep, you might miss the opportunity to be successful...

sleep is for those people who are broke. 

i don't sleep, i have the opportunity to make a dream into a reality. 

don't try to quit.

you're already in pain.

you're already hurting.

get a reward from it.

don't go to sleep until you succeed...

 

you will never be successful 

until i don't have to give you a dime to do what you do...

you won't be successful until you say 

'i don't need that money because i got it in here.'"

- "how bad do you want it?"

via thingsaboutlove

i've recently discovered stumbleupon, and it keeps giving me great links like this one. it has completely revolutionized my internet experience. i really liked this video because it makes you question your drive. success is a relative term. it doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. and it changes over time. i used to think i knew what i wanted, but if you had asked me 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago - you'd get very different and sometimes opposing responses.

are success and happiness the same thing? i don't think so. and while i am not old, i am getting older.  the last few years have allowed me to really understand myself - my habits and limitations. i am always asking, consciously and unconsciously, how much i am willing to sacrifice to get where i want to go.

recuperating

so my week has been pretty hectic. i was busy working, helping out my friends who were participating in the Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition by running errands and setting up, made up some new necklaces, taught my advanced jewellery class, and went to two weddings. i basically spent all of yesterday in a half dazed/half recuperating state.

i was so proud of my friend Jon - his work looked super fab, and he got a lot of positive responses.

i really liked how he decided to suspend two of his pieces with fishing line. they were much more dynamic displayed in that way. in school, how we displayed our work was always emphasized since a clean and professional display can make a world of difference

my other friend Theresa Duong received Honourable Mention in the student category. she totally deserved it. i've known her for a few years now and her work is always well executed. it's so refreshing to see what she's up to.

coiled within

"maybe great books were 

coiled within him like springs." 

  - extremely loud and incredibly close

i continue to think about this book - because it is so eloquent, so thoughtful, and so relevant to my life at this point in time. i tend to fixate on certain ideas and i surround myself with things that remind me of them - songs, movies, novels, phrases, people - sometimes i don't want to let things go.

i like to reflect, to reminisce, to analyze things that have come to pass. everything i ever take note of, anything that you can find in my sketchbook, written or drawn, is something that has a pull to me.

recently i was asked if i ever get that itch to create. i think i answered before he finished asking me. i do. i get it all the time. and it's why, even when things are discouraging at best, that i can't bring myself to even imagine a world where i am not a maker in some way.

the quote at the beginning of this post initially reminded me very much of someone i know - but now it also reminds me of anyone who has something creative in them that is aching to be released.

if you're one of those people, i encourage you to react to that itch. the world is waiting to see the results.

hand drawn and hand sawn

i have totally been lacking on the blogging front lately. sorry readers! my days can be so hectic. i can be out from 8:30am - 11:30pm at times working. also, my photoshop isn't working on my laptop right now, so it's hard for me to edit lighting in photos. so aggravating. 

anyway, i really like these new lichen pendants i'm enameling, and i actually really enjoy sawing as well. so while these may look like too much sawing to some, it doesn't feel overwhelming to me at all. 

each one is hand drawn and hand sawn, so they're all one of a kind - the kind of work i like best :) 

i did add yellow transitions around the small circular areas...but i think i like the pieces more when they're one colour. we'll see what i feel like doing next time i'm in the studio.